Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Zombie Nation!

Calling all Undead Fiends,
Pre-orders are now being taken for the very first anthology from The Zombie Feed, featuring a previously unpublished story by your favorite author/atom bomb, Danger_Slater!
That's right, kids.  This story will only be available if you order the book!
It's called HIPSTERS IN LOVE, a blood-soaked, brain-chomping, hipster-bashing slice of end of the world goodness! 
So what are you in store for?  Here's a short excerpt, to whet your appetite:

"We should start a band," Rob interrupts, playing the same 3-chord riff over and over and over again.



"Jesus, you two are giving me a headache," Vikki rubs her temples.


"Maybe you're turning," Rob tells her.


"Not funny," she replies. She sits on the counter and crosses her legs, almost painfully, as her pencil-thin jeans don't leave much room for movement. "When are Marco and X getting back?"


I look at my watch; Snap, Crackle, and Pop tick around the clockface. I got it from a cereal box. "Its only been an hour," I go.


On the table in front of me is a months-old copy of Newsweek. The cover reads in red bold-font APOCALYPSE! I haven't read the article yet. I'm not too into reading. Unless it's Palahniuk. Then it's...tolerable.


"I hope they find some Chai Tea. I can get kind of cranky when I don't get my caffeine fix," Vikki says.


"Really? We hadn't noticed," Rob chimes in, not looking up. She sneers at him, her grapefruit lips parting like the Red Sea; her smile an ocean of piranha.


From the boarded-up windows, the sound of pounding fists continues. Like rain spattering a sidewalk. I find it relaxing - the clawing, scrapping, the soft guttural moans of the outside world. Nevermind the fact that those fists are attached to bloodlusting zombies - the ravaged undead city, forever pulsing, trying to get in. I suspect they want to eat our brains. Or tear us to shreds. I suspect they want to come in and destroy the last bastion of civilization we've built here in this coffeeshop. Who knows? It's like music - the pounding. Just like drums. Maybe we should start a band. The last band on Earth. There'd be no one to listen to it.


It would be so ironic.


What's gonna happen?  You'll have to buy The Zombie Feed anthology Vol. 1 to find out!  Plus 16 other zombie-licious stories to eat your brains and transform your body!
Here's the link:

The Zombie Feed: Volume 1

What are you waiting for?  ORDER NOW!

Love,
Danger

Monday, January 17, 2011

Bump in the Night!

For anyone who's interested, I had a 100 character short story on The Drabblecast [episode 194] this week! 
It's literally three sentences long.  They call it a 'Twit-Fic'.
This story can only be enjoyed aurally, so you can either grab it off of iTunes, or click on the link:

HERE

If you want to just hear my meager contribution, it's during the last minute or so, but I implore you to listen to the entire show.  It's one of my personal favorites.  I even had a 100-word short story called MY WIFE IS A HEAD OF LETTUCE featured in episode 167!

Get to it, kids.
Until next time,
!_Slater

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Adam!

He's your best friend!
He's my best friend!
He's EVERYBODY'S best friend!
Read my latest short story ADAM over at Negative Suck!
Get to it.

ADAM

Your second best friend,
Danger!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Attention Shoppers:

Just when you thought it was safe to exchange that multipack of striped tube-socks your mom bought you for Christmas, comes a horror story of non-refundable proportions! 
Read my latest, THE MUMMY RETURNS! WITHOUT A RECEIPT! or be foreced to wander the halls of retail babylon for the next thousand years!  You can find it at the daily flash magazine Weirdyear. I suggest you go now before it's too late!
Beware the mummy's curse!  Beware the skinny denim!  Beware the smart-ass twenty-something retail clerks who only got a job because their parents were forcing them to 'learn some responsibility'!
Beware!  Beware!  BEWARE!

THE MUMMY RETURNS! WITHOUT A RECEIPT!

Hope you enjoy,
Danger_!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like HELL!

Exorcise your holiday spirit and read my holiday-themed short story, MALL SATAN, at my all-time favorite on-line magazine, Jersey Devil Press!
Help spread the Antichristmas fear!

MALL SATAN

Happy Holidays,
Danger_

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Over 800 Gazillion Served!

Ladies, Gentleworms and Killers of All Ages,
I am proud to present my most-delicious, most-nutritious, most-fictitious story to date:
McUNIVERSE
It's like Fast Food Nation meets Mass Effect 2 with a side of Lovecraft and 32oz. of ice-cold sarcasm!  And there's even a free toy inside for the kids!
Found on the value menu over at Red Fez, it comes with a no-questions-asked 100% satisfaction guarantee!  Or your monkey back!
So what are you waiting for?  The cows to come home?  Because they're not coming home.  They're your dinner.  So put down that greasy burger, loosen your belt, pop a few Tums, and feast your eyes:

 McUNIVERSE! Yummy!

Hope you enjoy.

Happy trails,
Danger_

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Blintzkrieg Bop!

The horrors of World War II meet the importance of a properly balanced breakfast in my latest micro-fiction tale, BLINTZKRIEG!  You can find over at the aptly named Short, Fast, and Deadly.
Blood and guts and thin little pancakes?
Revisionist history has never been so delicious.
Link:

BLINTZKRIEG

Love,
Danger_