Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My Name In Lights!

What are you doing reading this? Why aren't you buying the 2010 Jersey Devil Press Anthology? I wrote one of the stories in it. You like my stories, don't you? You said you did. Were you lying to me? Now my feelings are hurt. No no no, don't worry about me. I'm just going to eat this ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE AND CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP!
You insensitive prick...
Or you can quit wasting time and spend your money here: http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/?page_id=224 or here: http//www.amazon.com/2010-Jersey-Devil-Press-Anthology/dp/098461270X/ref=sr_1_cc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1279989370&sr=1-1-catcorr or here: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/e/9780984612703/?itm=1
Love,
Danger

Monday, July 5, 2010

Facebook Friends Unite!

I started a Facebook group to help promote the blog, which in turn will help promote my writing, which in turn will help promote me, which in turn will help promote you........at your job!
That's right folks, joining my Facebook group will give you that extra-edge you need at work!
You'll be thanking me later when your smoking a big, fat cigar on your private yacht, rap-video girls all dancing up on your crotch, mountains of cocaine on the patio deck, the Caribbean sun giving you that healthy, brown tan you've always wanted but couldn't get during those drippy, New Jersey winters...
....or you could just go about your life and not join the Facebook group.
The choice is yours.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=135554533140102

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Danger! Man

Thursday, July 1, 2010

This Wacky Weather!

People of Earth,
Look in the sky!
It's a bird! It's a plane!
NO!
It's a cloud that rains amputated limbs!
Combat your carbon footprint by reading my new short story THIS WACKY WEATHER over at the Seahorse Rodeo Folk Revival [July]. Did you know that for every one online journal you read you save 14 trees worth of paper? It's true!
...Well, it might be true.
Heres the link:
http://seahorserodeoreview.com/Past-Issues.html

Hope you enjoy.
Love,
Danger_

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Snowpocalypse Strikes Back!

That's right, boys and girls, you're worst fears have come true.
SNOWPOCALYPSE is back! And it's bigger than ever!
Now you can buy your very own copy of SNOWPOCALYPSE as well as several other great stories from Jersey Devil Press by pre-ordering the 2010 Jersey Devil Press Anthology! And, if that wasn't enough, order between now and it's release date on July 27th and get another one of their books, or a second copy of the anthology for only $25!
Don't be a fool! Be prepared!
The more copies you have, the more kindling you'll have when the SNOWPOCALYPSE hits. I mean, have you ever tried burning a computer? It's not that easy...
Anyway here's a link:
http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/?page_id=224

Until we meet again,
Danger

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Drabble!

They say good things come in small packages, and sometimes the shortest of stories can be but a precursor to something grand.
Just as the acorn can become a mighty oak,
Just as a baby will grow into a man,
Just as my dinner will soon become poop,
I too, have a small package
....
What I mean is, I have a new short story! Super-short! Ultra-short! 100 words to be exact, called MY WIFE IS A HEAD OF LETTUCE.
And get this, it's published in an audio magazine! Now even the illiterate can enjoy quality flash fiction as much as any pretentious Liberal Arts major! You can find it on my favorite audio/fiction magazine The Drabblecast [episode 167. About 10 minutes in, though I implore you to listen to the entire show, as it is pretty awesome]
http://www.drabblecast.org/
or, if you're so inclined, download it for FREE on iTunes.

Until next time, happy hunting.
Love,
Danger

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Snowpocalypse hits New Jersey!

Greetings Earthlings.
How are you all? Feeling good? Relaxed? Happy?
WELL STOP! STOP IT THIS INSTANT.
My new short short SNOWPOCALYPSE is in this month's issue of Jersey Devil Press! It's the end of the world, motherfuckers. Only my story will give you the tools you need to survive the impending disater. Also, it might elicit a chuckle or two, but they will be chuckles of TOTAL, IRREPUTABLE, UNDENIALBE ANNIHILATION!!!
Trust me, this is a can't miss tale.
Thanks kids. Good night and good luck.
Here's the link:
http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/?page_id=400

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Welcome!

Welcome to the most dangerous blog on the internet!
Why is it dangerous, you ask?
Because I use a lot of exclamation points!
If you don't know me, I am a writer. This page is my home.
It all begins somewhere. And that place is here.
So sit back, friends, and enjoy the ride.

Hugs and Kisses,
Danger