Get a Copy of LOVE ME for Free!

When you think of Valentine’s day, what comes to mind?
Anatomically incorrect hearts?
Flower genocide?
Sad masturbation sessions?

WELL FUCK THAT SHIT!

This year, instead of wasting your boner on your significant other, get a boner for my book LOVE ME. Why? Because for a limited time only, you can join the Lonely Viking on an existential bizarro quest across the entire world in search of a meaning to life and true love FOR FREE!

THAT’S RIGHT, PERSON READING THIS! 

LOVE ME IS FREE FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS!

Starting today - Weds the 13^th and going on through Sunday the 17^th, you can download a copy to you Kindle, PC or phone for the price of ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN’ NOTHING!

Do it! FREE! Look at all these links! CLICK ON THE LINKS!
LOVE ME!
LOVE ME!
FREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Oh, and while you’re at it, download your stinkin’ ass a copy of Eirik Gumeny and Stephen Schwegler’s hilariously violent and overly perverse sci-fi parody book SCREW THE UNIVERSE also for free.)

Do I need to put another link?
Ok, I will.

LOVE ME!
Free.

Enjoy.

Love,

Danger_Slater

Test Drive Love Me Today!

Stop reading this right now and head on over to Jersey Devil Press where you can read the the first chapter of Love Me! For free!
When your done, you can donate your hard-won dollars to Jersey Devil Press and recieve a paperback copy of Love Me and a copy of Eirik Gumeny and Stephen Schwegler's e-book, Screw The Universe! That's two books for the price of...well...er...two. But they're very good books. I promise.
And don't forget, kids, AUGUST 9TH is Love Me's official release date! That's so close! Holy crap! Start saving your lunch money!!!

Love Me - Chapter 1!!!

It's like crack, son. You know you want more.

- Danger

Love Me Release Date and Pre-Order and Fundraiser!

Yes, August 9 will be the official release date of LOVE ME!
It will be available as a paperback and an e-book. Oh, and did I mention there are illustrations in it by the renegade-viking of the art world Shawn Vales?
How excited are you! Hopefully you're so excited you want to empty your pockets right now because Jersey Devil Press is having a fundraiser! For the generous sum of $25 you will get a free pass into Heaven, plus a paperback copy of LOVE ME and an e-book by the very talented Eirik Gumeny and Stephen Schwegler called SCREW THE UNIVERSE! With a title like that, there's no way it could be bad! These books will arrive at your home wrapped in floral-scented tissue paper and/or digitally encoded files a whole freakin' week before they're released! You'll be the first of your friends to say 'I got these two books no one has heard of!'
Of course, you don't have to give. You can always buy LOVE ME in August when it comes out. But for just $.83 a day, the cost of a cup of highly-deadly plutonium, wouldn't you like the satisfaction of knowing you helped a starving on-line magazine find a loving owner [*insert sad Sarah McLachlan song here*]?
I guess what I'm really trying to say to with all of this is BE PREPARED TO BUY MY BOOK SOON BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I'M GOING TO KARATE CHOP YOU IN THE NECK AND IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE! AUGUST 9TH, FUCKFACE! MARK YOUR CALENDER!

Visit the Jersey Devil Press website HERE to learn more!

Love,
Danger_Slater